Monday, April 27, 2009

Expecting a Miracle

God continually amazes me. This weekend the message my pastor preached seemed to be tailor-made for me. I'm sure it spoke to many people in our congregation, but I was so touched by how specifically it ministered to my heart in the midst of my life at this time. Our pastor has been preaching a series on the heroes of faith from Hebrews 11. This week we looked at the story of Jericho and the life of Rahab who is listed among the heroes of faith in Hebrews.

Jericho was an extremely well fortified city. The walls of this seemingly impenetrable city were wide and high and the army guarding this city well trained and with many weapons. Jericho stood on the top of a hill which added to the difficulty of 'stormin' this particular castle'. As I listened to this description of Jericho I thought of the seemingly impenetrable walls of autism that seem so wide and so high in my life. I thought of all we have done to try to break down those walls with little success to date.

The method by which God instructed the Israelites to overtake the city was more than a little unorthodox for the time. Marching around the city 13 times over 7 days, shouting and blowing horns were not standard tactics of battle. In many ways the tactics we have approached our battle with autism have not been the standard tactics either. We have fought for educational interventions that are considered extreme by professionals in our state. We have employed biomedical interventions that are very much outside of the mainstream. And our next leg of the journey may be the most unorthodox and radical of all - leaving my home and rest of my family to go and have hyperbaric oxygen therapy. To many I may seem like a complete lunatic in relation to all I have done to help Seth. But I pray I am only following the direction God has given me. All along the way I have asked the Lord to guide my steps and show me what direction to take next. It's nice to know that God has some unorthodox, peculiar plans as is evidenced by His instructions to the Israelites on how overtake Jericho.

As our pastor continued he said, "God specializes in the miraculous!!" I felt the emotion welling up in me and had to hold back tears as our pastor went on. He challenged us to expect God to move miraculously whatever formidable walls of Jericho we are facing in our lives. And then he honestly admitted that sometimes he questions whether he has the faith to believe for miracles. I too question whether I have that kind of faith. I hesitate to ask for the miraculous for fear of the disappointment that comes when God doesn't answer my prayers in the way I had hoped. And yet I know that He will answer and work out His perfect plan in my life. A plan that will be better than the one I could have dreamed up.

In the midst of expecting miracles, he challenged us to first and foremost seek the presence of God in our lives. I have felt such a heavy burden over the past few weeks to seek God and to surround this trip and intervention with Seth in prayer. Even more than a miracle in my son's life I want God's evident presence in the midst of my days. And yet even today as I continue to seek God's presence He brought me a story of a friend of a friend whose son has made great progress after doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy. I earnestly hope God is affirming the path He has put me on and I pray He is preparing me for a miracle in my son's life. I will be careful to give Him the glory no matter what.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Hi Jenn, I just noticed you had a blog on FB... I want you to know we will be praying for Seth and your trip and treatments.